Intoxicated in Stupidity
by Crimson Dutchess
Summary: Team 7 goes on a mission, to sort out the potions, and stuff in the Hokage's cellar. But Naruto clumzily, and accidentally throws the biggest jug at the rest of his team, including Kakashi. Now they've changed in awkward ways. Read to find out more.
1. Chapter 1

Intoxicated with Stupidity

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… waahh oh well. I still own the fic XP.

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Chapter 1 

One thought to be normal day in Konoha, team 7 were waiting for their sensei… Mr.Iliketowastemytimeandmakemystudentswaitforeveruntilimdonedoinabsolutelynothing a.k.a. Kakashi. During that time…

"That stupid Kakashi bastard!" the blonde yelled

"Why does he always have to make us wait?"

"For once in my life, I agree with Naruto!"

"…Shut up dobe and annoying fangirl."

"Oh, sorry Sasuke-kun!"

"Whatever…"

_She apologizes to him but never me… that stupid Sasuke-teme._

"Sorry guys, I just got lost on the twisted path of life." Kakashi said as he appeared out of nowhere.

"AHHH! IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME LAME EXCUSE EVERY TIME!"

Sakura whacked Naruto across the back of his head.

"Shut up idiot, he didn't ask for an impression."

"Dobe…"

Kakashi sighed.

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"Ok guys, lets start our mission." 

"WHAT IS IT? GARDENING? SAVING A CAT? FINDING HERBS? WORKING AT THE RAMEN BAR? WHAT WHAT WHAT?"

"Shut up dead-last… we're never gonna get our mission until you shut the hell up."

"Sasuke's right! You should listen to him more often if you wanna get as good as him."

"…Ohhhhh I see, if I listen to Sasuke-teme, then I'll go get my butt whipped by Gaara, Bushy-Brow, Itac-"

Sasuke grabbed him by the neck.

"What did you say? I will kill Itachi and avenge my family. Don't ever say that again or I'll kill you."

"Okay break it up boys," he separated Sasuke from the blonde.

"Asshead…"

"…Dumbshit…"

"Our mission today is to sort out all of the potions, remedies, chemicals, and liquefied chakra in the Hokage's cellar without opening any of them." Kakashi started

"But by any chance you do open any of them, the results are unpredictable. You could die, be badly injured, change in some way, or even rot in your very position. So be careful, especially you Naruto."

"I'll be able to this, believe it! I'm gonna do this ten times faster than Sasuke!"

"Dobe, did you even listen to Kakashi? He said you have to be careful, so don't rush."

"Nyehnehnehnehnehsodunrush…" Naruto mocked. "That's bull. Of course I can do this without rushing, but still faster than you."

"Naruto! If you keep thinking that, you're gonna get us all killed!" the kunoichi exclaimed.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan, I won't kill you, maybe Sasuke-teme though…"

slap

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(In the cellar) 

"Here we are." The silver haired man informed as he pulled out his favourite book, come come paradise.

"Man is it messy in here!" the kunoichi said.

"LET'S GET STARTED!"

Sasuke just sighed.

"Okay, Naruto, you do the entire top shelf, Sakura, you do the entire middle shelf, and Sasuke, you do the entire bottom shelf."

"WHY DO I ALWAYS GET STUCK WITH THE STUFF I CANT REACH?"

"Why do I always get stuck with the easiest stuff…"

"…Whatever…"

After about an hour or two of working…

"Oh, thank goodness I'm done… whew."

"Now dead-last is the only one left, again." Sasuke scoffed.

Naruto had just started picking up the largest jug in the cellar.

Sasuke was enjoying teasing the blonde.

"He's always the dumbest, and slowest of the group."

Naruto's blood was starting to boil.

"He's the runt of the litter, always last to catch up." Sasuke was proud of himself for insulting Naruto.

Naruto was about to turn around to yell at Sasuke with the jug in his hands…

"He doesn't even know how to act normal."

"You… you… YOU BASTARD SASUKE IM GONNA KILL YOU!"

At that, he turned around with the jug flying out of his arms towards Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi.

Sakura screamed and grabbed Sasuke, holding on to him tightly.

Kakashi realized after hearing Sakura's scream and ran in front of them trying to block the jug.

SMASH SPLASH!

The room was covered in the liquid and smoke.

When the smoke cleared, what was left, was an ultra happy chibified Sasuke, a feminine Kakashi, a pink cat, and Naruto.

"Uh-oh…" the blonde said.

End of chapter 1

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Yeh, creepy ideas I have… Muahahahaha… I'm going to write a second chapter to this (before my teacher gives me another bloody huge assignment) and I expect to have at least 3-5 reviews… other than my friend's reviews. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Okee, you know what it is… I don't own Naruto. Deal with it. And I'll give you some time to absorb that…

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Chapter 2

"Ah crap, what have I done now…" the blonde asked worriedly.

"Well, like for a start, you can go and get the hokage before I get my hair gets ruined!"

"Kakashi-…Sensei?" the blonde exclaimed.

"NOOOOO! I wanna POPSICLE! Let's go out and buy some candies! Awww, look at the cwute witto kitty!" Sasuke ran and huggled the cat-Sakura.

"He he… Sasuke-teme's finally lost it… the idiot."

"Meow…?"

"… And Sakura-chan gets cuter every day." He stroked her behind the ears.

Sakura bit him and growled.

"AHHHHHHHH OW OW OW OW OW OW OW! THAT FUCKING HURT!"

"That's what the big bad kyuubi-man gets!" Sasuke teased.

"OK THAT'S IT IM GONNA KILL YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL YOU ASSHEAD!"

"Oh my god, boys you are _so_ immature…" the silver haired woman said.

Tsunade-sama walked in.

'What the hell is going on in here!"

"Uhhhhhmm…."

Sasuke gasped, "Are you the lady who gives out all the candy?" he asked as he smiled.

"Erm… Sasuke? What happened to you, did you shrink like a fourth your size or something?"

"Meow, meow, meow, meow….?" _Oh my god… I cant talk right. Im a cat! Help me guys!_

"What is a cat doing in my storage… a pink cat especially."

"Tsunade-sama, like this is a total misunderstanding. That cat is like Sakura."

"Howd that happen?"

They all turned and looked at Naruto.

Naruto put his hand to the back of his head, "Ehehehehehehe… well its kinda all my fault…" he sweatdropped.

She glanced at the broken jug on the ground.

"NARUTO! YOU STUPID IDIOT, YOU BROKE THE TRANSFORMATION LIQUID JUG! THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE YOU BAKA!"

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After strangling Naruto for about ten minutes, the group was led back to Tsunade's office.

"Alright, I have no idea on how to transform you guys back, because that liquid on you is quite strong, but I can at least help you try and act normally as before."

So she started using her chakra to get them back to normal.

"First Sakura." She used her chakra to get Sakuras voice back.

"Nya-nya, thanks Tsunade-sama." She purred.

"Now Sasuke." She tried her best in trying to get him back to normal, but only got him to grow a bit. A bit. Not much though. His personality didn't change either. (Yay).

"I'm a growing boy! WEEE! Do I get candy now?"

"And finally Kakashi." She got him to act like a man again, but he was still a woman.

"Oh great." He pulled out his Icha Icha Paradise.

"Erm… Well, the important ones were _mostly _back to normal. Let's go!"

"SHUT UP NARUTO! TAKE THAT BACK! SASUKE-KUN IS IMPORTANT TOO! But then again, I do like him this way…"

"The kitty's talking!" Sasuke huggled Sakura again. She purred.

_And she doesn't let me hug her…_ the blonde boy thought.

"Ah… well this was the best _I _could do. But I read on the label that the liquis will wear off."

"When?" the silver haired sensei asked.

"I… I can't remember…"

"IF I WAS THE HOKAGE, I'D REMEMBER! BELIEVE IT!"

"Shut up Naruto, you can't even handle an easy D-ranked mission, so how can you remember anything?"

"Yeeeeeeeah." Sasuke mocked.

"Damn it, shut the hell up you annoying little bastard!" the blonde exclaimed.

"No."

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NOO!"

"YEEESS!"

"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!"

"YESYESYESYESYESYEYSYEYSYEYSYEYSYEYSYEYSYEYSYEYSYES!"

Sasuke jumped and bit Naruto in the ass.

"AHHHHHHH GETOFFGETOFFGETOFF!"

Naruto punched Sasuke in the head giving him a 'booboo'.

"Naruto you idiot, don't hurt my witto Sasuke-kun! I'm gonna meeeeeeeow kill you!"

Sakura jumped up on Naruto and was scratching his face off like crazy.

Kakashi tried jumping in to try and stop them and got caught in.

Tsunade: O.o…

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"ASSHEAD CHIBI!"

"MEANIE!"

"DON'T SAY THAT TO SASUKE, NARUTO!"

"AHHH QUIT PULLING MY HAIR!"

Naruto tackled Kakashi, and Icha Icha Paradise fell out of his hands.

"OH NO! MY PRECIOUS!"

He grabbed it and kissed it a million times.

"Awwww, you okie my witto, beautiful, happy, wappy, book?"

Sakura took the book and shredded it.

"Take that you stupid hentai novel! GRRRRRRRREOOWW!"

Kakashi sobbed.

"You.. ripped.. my.. HAPPY!" he cried.

"Suck it up princess!" Sakura shot back.

Kakashi ran around the room crying.

Sasuke and Naruto were wrestling, and Sakura went mad with clawing.

"WHERES MY CAT-NIP! NYAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!"

"TAKE THIS CHIBI-PANZY!"

"OWWW, IM TELLING MOMMY! OH NO, MOMMYS DEAD WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tsunade: OO"

After about two hours, Sasuke had booboos everywhere, Naruto had a half-ripped off face and a sore ass, Sakura had her cat-nip and was cleaning her claws, and Kakashi was mourning.

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"Wahh… I need a new Icha Icha Paradise… I've had mine forever, and it seems neverending in the TV program we're on because I'm always reading the same one…"

"My bandages are making my booboos hurt more. Tsunade, can you kiss them alright?"

"Meeeooooow, I think Naruto is a big baka."

Naruto was asleep on the floor as Tsunade healed his wounds.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU GUYS WERE DOING! YOU HAVE GONE MAD!" Tsunade exclaimed as she slapped everyone across the face except for Naruto.

"Gomen…" They all said in unison.

Then there was a knock at the door. FANGIRLS. They were surrounding the office. (Okay Sasuke fangirls this is where you come in.)

"OH MY GOD ITS SASUKE AND HES ALL CHIBIFIED AND HAPPY! GASP DOES HE HAVE A BOOBOO? DAMN NARUTO HURTING HIM SO MUCH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH FANGIRLS! EVERYBODY RUN!" Sasuke exclaimed.

Sakura jumped in front of them all trying to protect them.

"YOU STUPID LIFELESS BITCHES! GET YOUR HANDS OFF SASUKE!"

Then something freaky happened… Sakura turned into a…

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Ehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe suspense. It's annoying when it comes to commercial breaks while watching Naruto. Especially in this fanfic. Sorry for the lack of updates, but I got another BLOODY HUGE PROJECT from my my-students-never-get-overworked teacher. Ah well, just a novel study, no biggy. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Okey, you know da drill.

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Chapter 3

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DUNDUNDUN...

Sakura turned into a...

"Bird! Look at the pretty bird outside!" Sasuke exclaimed.

"Shut up Sasuke!"

"Sakura-chan is Y-" Sasuke attacked Naruto before he could finish.

"DON'T YELL AT ME YOU BADASS! I'M JUST LIKE 13 YEARS OLD AND YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP YOU TURD!" Sasuke exclaimed as he looked down at himself and noticed he was back to normal again.

But, since he was his original size, his clothes were too small and they... Ripped.

Sasuke blushed like mad.

Naruto wiped out on the floor laughing.

Sakura... Or I mean Yuna (that's who she turned into from FFX-2) almost fainted.

And the fan girls SCREAMED.

Sakura... Err Yuna shot like half the frikken fan girls down.

The ones who survived trampled and killed her as they ran after Sasuke.

"OH NO SAKURA-CHAN... I KNOW WHAT TO DO! PHEONIX DOWN!" Naruto yelled.

"Thanks shit-head, but now we need to get the hell out of here!"

"Are you nuts! Do you think I'm gonna get outta of this place naked?"

Sakura and Naruto looked at each other for a moment. "YES."

Kakashi kicked Sasuke in the head. "Let's get him out before he wakes up!"

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Then Sasuke turned into his true form... AUSTIN POWERS!

"Oh behave..."

Sakura almost died... Again.

"Oh no, I can't stand the British accent, and the buck teeth... And his American male-ness (NOT THAT YOU PERVS)." Sakura said.

"Don't worry love, I'll save you."

Naruto quivered.

He just quivered.

Kakashi closed his eyes "Find my happy place, find my happy place, find my happy place..."

Then... He changed form too.

After all this naked crap, and getting dressed and stuffles, "Mew mew style, mew mew grace, mew mew power in your face!"

Naruto and Sakura died just then.

Just died.

"Well, I guess it's time to get this party started!"

"You betcha! Strawberry Bell!"

Nothing happened.

"Shit, this thing needs new batteries."

"Don't worry girlie, I'll take on these fan girls."

"Actually, Sasuke, were sick of you. That whole Austin Powers thing, and killing Sakura, really turned us off. Goodbye."

They all walked off except for one.

One little kid.

"Muahahahahahahaha... Sasuke... Time to meet your maker."

"Croikies!"

Kakashi looked over, and then Sasuke was that guy off the discovery channel, Steve.

He died.

Sasuke was ALL alone.

"What a beauty!" Sasuke said as he looked over at the retarded little kid.

"You vile man."

"Amazing, this is called the DLK that can only be found in Konoha. You guys are probably wondering what DLK stands for aren't you? It means demented little kid."

"Imbecile!"

"Gorgeous. It also learned the human language. Maybe it's a subspecies of a parrot."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"I'm going to kill you once and for all Sasuke... Muahahahahahahaha."

The demented kid shot Sasuke with his laser gun thing.

"Oh and you ever wanted to know my name, it's Stewie Griffin. No I rather like Snake. Snake Griffin."

So in the end, they all died, until they were buried in the Pet Cemetery. No, no I'm just kidding, they didn't die... Yet. Dun dun dun. In the end, the Elric brothers came along after they discovered human transmutation alchemy, and revived them. Don't ask why they did. They just did. So I can get away with a cheap ending, because I don't wanna keep writing this fanfic, for I will write different ones since this one's getting stupid. Oh and Sakura never turned back to normal for all you who were wondering. Hey, Yuna is cool. At least she is like WAY PRETTIER, WAY MORE MATURE, WAY BETTER, AND overall, JUST COOL. Ok the end.

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Whew, random chapter. Almost too random. Well, I decided to end this fic once and for all because it's not going anywhere. Sorry if this makes you feel mad or something, but I'm gonna write more fanfics now... Well, gotta move on. And sorry for the lack of updates, but I was busy doing my novel study, and now that I'm done, and my teacher has gone to Ottawa with the other Gr.7's in my class (yah I'm in a 6/7 split), I CAN DO ANYTHING! 


End file.
